Manager's pep talk

You might be a redneck...
if you just stand there and take a called third strike
if you and your dog both use the same tree
if you hit a foul ball with 2 strikes
if you bring a fishing pole to Sea World
if you hit a ball to 3rd base with runners on 1st and 2nd
if you think a quarter horst is a ride in front of Walmart
if you try to throw a ball before you catch it
if you think safe sex is a padded headboard
if you drop an easy catch, it is only a normal human error, but still...
if you bring a load to the dump and leave with more than you brought
if you have to ask where and when your next game is
if the blue book value of your truck depends on how much gas is in it
if you do not know the name of your team, either you are a f-ing ringer, or...
if your halloween pumpkin has more teeth than you do
if your team has 20 player and you do not understand why you must sit a few innings
if your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in movie theater
if you fail to take an extra base when the throw goes to home plate
if your favorite nightly entertainment is having a beer while watching the bug zapper
if you let a grounder go between your legs
if your school song was Dueling Banjos
if you step on the wrong home plate
if your fur coat was home made
if you throw the ball to the wrong base
if you feel it is necessary to berate an umpire, get a life, and...
if you think the name of your team is the Rednecks, then I guess you are one.